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(no subject)

Jan. 1st, 2006 | 04:18 am
mood: calmcalm


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(no subject)

Dec. 31st, 2005 | 05:00 pm

I am driving 4 and a half hours to go to a killer party tonight. I let you know how it turns out!

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Dec. 22nd, 2005 | 03:05 am

Christmas is in three days. I don't think I should feel the way I do right now.

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Neck-high in Shit

Dec. 22nd, 2005 | 02:58 am
mood: depresseddepressed

You know sometimes I am Able to get a real good look at life.
Sometimes I am even able to feel it. I have seen just how
SHITY life can be. I sometimes see it so well I wish I just
didn't have to bother living it. Cause more often than not
it sucks ass.

On the other hand I know someone that won 45 million dollars today.

I am not saying that money makes shit smell like roses but
I am willing to bet they won't be able to see the reality of
things like you and I ever again.

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(no subject)

Dec. 10th, 2005 | 03:34 am

You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.

Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.

You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.

You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

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I wont agrue with this

Dec. 7th, 2005 | 02:52 am

Your Birthdate: September 23

You're not good at any one thing, and that's the problem.
You're good at so much - you never know what to do.
Change is in your blood, and you don't stick to much for long.
You are destined for a life of travel and fun.

Your strength: Your likeability

Your weakness: You never feel satisfied

Your power color: Bright yellow

Your power symbol: Asterisk

Your power month: May

You know I used to be in love with yellow. I had yellow everything.

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I don't doubt it

Dec. 1st, 2005 | 01:15 am
mood: contemplativecontemplative

You know Fiona was talking to me today and she said something that absolutely blew me away. If I didnt have to kill myself trying to get to some of the people in my life, I probably wouldn't think them to be the least bit interesting. Is it the chase that sometimes keeps us going? If all my friends were as available to me as I would like them to be would we still be friends?

I have no choice but to wonder. We all have that friend. That person that we have known forever. You talk to him/her once, maybe twice a year and sometimes not that often. You see them with every flying of pigs and cow moon jumping. Yet we still consider them our friend. Maybe not a close one but a friend no less.

Why is this? Do we as humans just love to carry old baggage around? Are we afraid to let go? Is there a time limit? When it comes to friends when is it time to just, let go?

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I'm a little woried..I take that back, I'm ALOT worried

Nov. 22nd, 2005 | 11:35 pm
mood: worriedworried

I'd say for about two years now I every so often (like one a month) will get this slight tingling sensation on the left side of my body. I don't know why but from head to toe only on the left side. I remember telling David Newman about it when i was working at the bank and he said that he had been told that it was a very mild form of heart attack or stroke. Of course I told David (the computer science major) he didn't know what the hell he was talking about and went about my business.

Well about six months ago I noticed these little episodes started happening alot more frequently than before and it was starting to bother me. At times they can be a little painful. I decided that i probably should see a doctor about it but I once again pushed it to the bottom of the shit to do list. What can i say, I am a busy boy.

As time progressed these sensations begin to get stronger and stronger and more common. Three weeks ago they peaked. I was getting them as many as six times a day. While I was, standing still, walking, running, sitting, laying down, driving and especially while I was at work. One day I was working and all of a sudden it came about me, but this one was different. It started in my fingers and toes and slowly worked its way up my leg and arm. By the time it got to my shoulder my fingers were numb. I could then feel the muscles in my torso contracting. It was so intense that I came really really close to pissing on myself because my bladder was being squeezed. I couldnt walk for about 4 minutes. And finally the pain went away just as sudden as it had come over me. At that point there was no more waiting to be done. I immediately went and made a doctors appointment.

I went to the doctor this morning. He was really nice and new to me cause I fired my last doctor (he was a total boob Dr. Gershon in Denton, Texas). I am now seeing Dr. Mark Hilger. Anyway, he says to me after hearing me explain my problem and doing a quick examination of my reflexes, motor skills and whatnot, "Well Bryson to be honest I have no way of know whats wrong with you right now. It could be any number of things from a series of seizures to stroke. You could have a bad heart valve or even a brain tumor. At this point I don't know. I do want you to get better but its going to be a long process and alot of testing to find the root of the problem. Right now I am we are going to try and rule out every possible thing we can so that it will make it a little easier to find the cause. I know its not from your blood pressure because its just a tiny bit high and sure thats just because your nervous. What I need from you is patients. With me and with yourself. I am going to send you to one of my special friends because I don't think I am going to be able to get you all the answers we need without using other resources. Do you know what an MRI is?". "Yeah I had one on my right shoulder about three weeks ago but for something completely non-related." "Well I am going to order an MRI on your brain."



[my BRAIN. is this guy serious. I am freaking out about now. whenever the brian is involved things tend to be pretty freakin serious. hell life threatening.]


"Well I am going to order an MRI on your brain. I would give you a script but I cant cause I don't know what to give you. Don't worry I am gonna take good care of you. I promise."

As one can imagine I am a bit freaked. I don't know what to feel cause I don't know how serious this thing is. right now I am just trying to hold everything in. I have my MRI on the 30th and I am going to see a Neurologist on the 7th.

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Lazy ASS

Nov. 22nd, 2005 | 01:55 am

I feel bad cause I didn't go to the gym today. I have VERY GOOD excuses but they are still excuses!

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I'm Cheating

Nov. 21st, 2005 | 07:48 am

I can't help this feeling within me. This feeling that I am cheating myself. Not just that I am cheating my self but the further extreme that I am cheating on myself. I am being unfaithful and unfair to myself and my self is now aware of it. The affair has to seize. It's over. I can't do it anymore. I don't wanna do it anymore. I want out.

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